Saturday, 10 December 2016

The History of Middle Earth

The History of Middle Earth

You can forget your Frodo and that ring.
It was just a tall tale trope. The truth
you'll see is alien to the trilogy.

Unrest begat emboldened Orcs whose ire
burst out inflamed when first insurgents
blew up ordnance under Barad-Dûr.

And guided by a coalition
of invisible insurrectionists
who'd slipped in unnoticed vowing aid,

they forged fresh weapons from the bowels
of the earth. Flying flags and fearless,
the rebels rose like Ringwraiths in the spring.

While the Times of Minas Tirith spun
their democratic right to take up arms,
the Mail in Bree ran a different headline.

Its 'Murder in Mordor' only seemed to goad
the thugs of Aragorn into flying sorties.
Wizard stuff at the gates of Isenmouthe.

And at the end, with Sauron ditched and dead,
a would-be Arwen sought her crown
and crowed, We came, we saw, he died!

Friday, 10 June 2016

The Ballad of Killary Hilton

I guess this one speaks for itself.

The Ballad of Killary Hilton

She would’ve been an astronaut,
but then she couldn’t fly
as NASA said she really ought
to be to burst the sky.

She stood by Bill, her Peckerman,
who got away with lies
when once impeached for dirty tricks
and fondling Moni's thighs.

Exhorting selfsame Bill to launch
a bootleg Balkans war
and bomb the shit from old Belgrade,
she launched Esprit le Morte.

And Kosovo these days still breeds
enough Jihadi fiends
to terrorise the continent
where more are being weaned.

In two-oh-three she voted for
the second Iraq war,
which outcome led to ISIS' spread;
those guys we all abhor.

Iraq was just a preview of
the chaos that ensued
in Libya and in Syria too -
- and she sees that as good!

As Sec. of State, she was gung-ho,
which history will confirm
and looking back we'd all see that
the callous never squirm.

When Dubya's heirs an onslaught loosed
on Libya from the air,
she waved the NATO flag and sold
it to us fair and square.

On TV she was heard to gloat
We came, we saw, he died!
And listening to that devilish glee,
who knew of Libya cried.

That well-to-do and once proud state
is now a charnel house
that's full of gore. What's more it's not
what Libyans would espouse.

That ISIS now abounds in Sirte
was certain as could be,
and lessons that were never learned
are plain for all to see.

Her policies caused refugees
to try to cross the Med,
where still they die a-hundredfold
while she lies safe abed.

And when the CIA said change
al-Assad's own regime,
she bought into the myth of fast
and free, or so it seems.

Colluding with the CIA,
the Turks and Arab states,
they shipped their guns to Daesh brigades
and left it to the fates.

But quick and easy it was not,
and now it's even worse
as millions flee as refugees
and empty Europe's purse.

Compound the mayhem. That's the plan
as US debt still soars.
Still paying out for foreign wars
and treating us like whores.

And discontent, the shit goes on
as witness coup d’état
in Ukraine where they Had it glued
with Yats the guy – beat that!

Two weeks before the coup took place,
you'd hear it on YouTube.
Give praise to Hilton, Newland, plus
five thousand million lube.

And if that lapse was not enough,
we learned about her mails,
but so too did the FBI
and now she's biting nails.

Is she the gal to lead the world?
Is she the real deal chief,
with nuclear codes and powdered nose?
As Snoopy said, Good grief!